


Voicemail

by johnwatso



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Season/Series 04, Voicemail, covers the entire series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-12 04:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20155150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnwatso/pseuds/johnwatso
Summary: Sherlock and John leave each other voice messages chronicling their relationship.





	Voicemail

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Pauline and Lena for the support and encouragement and for giving this little fic a once-over.

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

Uh, hi Sherlock. It’s John. Obviously. Right. Anyway, just wondering if we have eggs at the flat or if I need to buy a couple. Making breakfast for Sarah in the morning. If we don’t have eggs, call me. If we do, call me. Just. Call me.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

We need milk. And seventeen fingernails, varying sizes. Let me know when you’ve procured both, or either.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

I know you’re at work and I know I’m not supposed to call you at work but I just wanted to say. That thing you did. The one that was good. It was. Good.

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

Hi. Your brother told me. About the Woman. If you need to talk…

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

Just wanted to find out where you were? Call me.

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

If you’re not okay or… Just ring me, okay?

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

Hi Sherlock. Look, I know you overheard us. I’m on the way home, if you want to talk. Even if you don’t. See you soon, I hope.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

Look, John, I’ve been thinking about it and… You know I never apologise and I abhor repeating myself but… I just wanted to say… Maybe I should’ve told you about my “in the sugar” theory before I tried to drug you. That’s all.

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

Sherlock, I don’t know what the bloody hell is going on, but Mrs H is alright. I’m coming back to meet you. You’d better have some sort of explanation for this. I mean it.

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

Did you honestly think… Did you really think that doing that in front of me, your closest and may I remind you _ only _friend in the world was a good idea? Fuck you.

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

If you’re really not dead, don’t fucking come home. 

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

I saw you today. Well, not you, obviously. Just some posh tosser who looked like you. My feet went cold and my heart stopped and I thought about… I thought about the time you asked me if I thought you were a fraud, too. How I wish I could’ve answered you differently. How I wish… I wish we… I wish… More than anything, I just want one more. One more miracle, Sherlock. God, I’d do anything for just that. 

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

God that voice, isss the thing I miss the most I think probaby. Problably. Probabably. Nah, thass a lie. I miss your fucking beautiful mouth. What a waste of a mouth. What a complete waste… I - Look, can you come home now? Enough of thiss - _ hic _\- thiss thing you’re doing where you’re not fucking here and I am. Iss not fair. It issn’t fair. Come home.

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

Fuck. I. Sometimes I open a text message at work to text you something ridiculous that happened, but I’ve never actually called before. After all this time, the reflex is still there. It’s been nearly a year. God, I don’t think I’ll ever fucking get over you, will I? If you were here, you’d know the answer to that, or you’d call me an idiot and make fun of my jumper. Either way, you’d know what to do. You always knew what to do, even though you’re a colossal prick and I’m still _ very _angry with you for what you did to me. To us. Right, I sound like a mad man, having a chat with your voicemail…

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

I miss you today. Well, actually, I miss you every buggering day but today was especially difficult. It’s gone on a year now. Don’t know if I’m supposed to celebrate you or mourn you more. I’ve never really done this before. I don’t know how. I wish I could hear your voice just one more time, and not from your sodding answering machine. I wish I could smell you. See you laugh. Watch you sleep. Even hear you sulk. Christ, anything is better than this. Anything. I miss you, Sherlock. I’ll always miss you. 

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

Right. This is ridiculous, but what isn’t ridiculous about you and me? I just called to say… I’ve met someone. She’s very pretty and very clever and I think you might’ve actually liked her, which is the ironic part. You might’ve just approved of this one. So, there’s that. Not saying I’ve moved on or something. Well, you can’t move on from… whatever it is we were. Just wanted to let you know. And get your blessing, I suppose, in a way.

_ Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Don’t be boring. BEEP! _

I’m going to level with you. If you’re out there, if my miracle came true, now would be a fucking good time. 

_ The number you have dialled is not in service. _

_ The number you have dialled is not in service. _

_ The number you have dialled is not in service. _

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

I take it you _ are _going to keep the moustache.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

Alright, I forgive you for the moustache, but only if you call me back. If you’re amenable, that is. Mycroft thinks the fate of Great Britain is in danger. I’d love a second pair of eyes. You know me - I’m lost without my blogger.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

John, I. I realise I shouldn’t have just… kind of turned up that way, I. I apologise. For everything.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but he had a sniper on you. You were in danger. If I didn’t jump, I was risking your life, and Mrs Hudson’s, and Lestrade’s. I couldn’t do that. You have to believe me. It was the only way…

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

Where are you? Are you alright? Mary said you’d only had minor respiratory issues, but nothing long-term. I’m going to find out who did this, John. 

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

John, I know you and Mary specifically said “no” to boutonnieres, but I’ve found the most extraordinary little florist, right near the Yard, and I think if you’d just see these you might change your mind. I’ve also called the caterer and confirmed that they will have veggie options for anybody who asks, but they do need to say so on their RSVP. The dessert is all sorted, finally, I think we should go with a classic pudding. Unless Mary doesn’t want pudding. Let me know what she says when you ask. If you’re free tomorrow, we could go through the menu again, just to make sure there-

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

Sorry! Got cut off there. As I was saying, we need to make sure the caterer has made provisions for every eventuality. I’ve also called the venue again and ensured they have a ramp in case anybody you’ve invited decides to injure themselves between now and the big day. You never know. They confirmed that, yes, they do follow regulations regarding accessibility, but you really never know with these places. I’ll ring you if anything else comes up.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

I ordered the boutonnieres. Just in case. We can choose not to wear them if you don’t want to.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Hi, Sherlock, just thought of something we’d never planned. My stag do. Suppose it’s not really your area. Thought we could maybe do something, just the two of us. Get pissed or something. Let me know.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson _ . At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

Of course I’ve planned your stag do. It was to be a tasteful affair with all the invited bachelors. I’ve even booked a posh restaurant.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Cancel the bloody posh restaurant! Let’s do something fun. Last time before I’m off the market.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Sh’lock, where the hell are you? One minute you were _ there _ and, next minute, _ poof _! And now I’m sat in the middle of this gay bar, surrounding by fit men, and I’m wondering where the heck you’ve gone off to. Oh! They’re playing something I vaguely recognise! Call meeeeeeee.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson _ . At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

John! Don’t be alarmed, but I’ve just figured out that this may or may not be a gay bar. I’m by the loos. Meet me here. I’ll get you out of here, John Watson, don’t you think I won’t - _ oy! You just cut the queue! And your boyfriend is cheating on you! _ Oops! Now would be a good time to come to the loos, John!

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Uh, hi Sherlock. I just finished dancing with Mary, and I can’t find you anywhere. Molly said she saw you leave the dancefloor, but you’re not in your room or anywhere else. Call me when you get this. It would be really great if… Just call me.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Hi! Long time, no speak. Just wondering if you’re around. Might stop by later for a cuppa if you’re available. Let me know.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Got anything on?

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Look, I know you’re having a sulk for whatever reason, so let me know when you’re done. Bye.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

I’m sure Mycroft has told you. I’d really like it if you and Mary could come by before I leave. It would be good to see you both and say goodbye.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Just wanted to check in. I’ll swing by later. For the record, I’m still angry. Your brother showed me “the list”. Looked like a bloody hospital ordering sheet. You utter lunatic.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Hi, haven’t heard from you yet. I’ll be there soon.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

John. Forgive me.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, but we do have to at some point. Talk, that is. 

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

Molly gave me your letter. I won’t bother you or Rosie again.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

“Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood, Disguise fair nature with hard-favored rage, Then lend the eye a terrible aspect, Let pry through the portage of the head like the brass cannon, let the brow o'erwhelm it as fearfully as doth a gallèd rock o'erhang and jutty his confounded base, Swilled with the wild and wasteful ocean. Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide, Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit to his full height. On, on, you noblest English-”

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

John. Don’t worry about Eurus or Mycroft or any of it. I have a plan. Call me.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

I bet you’re probably sick of cases for a while now. Last one was a bit of a doozy. Heh. Lestrade just rang with one, though. Probably a seven, more likely a six. Let me know if you’re in.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

I wanted to say… that is… thank you. For your help. You didn’t have to come, and yet… It was good to see you. And Rosie. Tell her hello from me. I hope I’ll see you both soon.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Sherlock, I’ve left Rosie’s favourite teething toy behind, the little Sophie giraffe she loves so much. Think it must’ve fallen between the cushions of my - the chair. If you happen to see it, let me know. I’m tempted to just run out and get her a new one, or two, or three. God, kids are harder than they’re supposed to be, aren’t they?

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

Erm, hello. John. That thing. That thing you did last night. At the flat. I, um. Yes.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Hi Sherlock. Look, I didn’t want to do this over the phone, but I’m sorry about last night. It shouldn’t’ve happened. I was drunk. So were you. Let’s chalk it up to piss-poor decisions, yeah? Let’s forget about it. I don’t want anything between us to change. I’m sorry.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

‘M at the pub with Lesstrade. He says hi. I say, “The charter of thy worth gives thee releasing.” See you around, Johnnn.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

Juss got back to the flat. I think I drank too - _ hic _ \- much. I shouldn’t be on the telephone with you, stupid, stupid, _ stupid! _ But you’re not on the other end, so I win, I think… Even though _ you _ win because you said “no, no, no” to me. I don’t - _ hic _\- blame you.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

You absolute tosser. Don’t move. I’m coming over. And I’ll never say “no” to you. You should know that by now, you idiot.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

Hello _ boyfriend. _Am I allowed to start all my voice messages like that? Anyway, just thought I’d let you know that Molly rang - I’m off to Bart’s to see what she’s got for me. Sounds interesting. I’ll be back before you, probably. If I’m not, ring me and I’ll come home right away.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Hi, I’m stuck in traffic. I need to find a job closer to home. This isn’t working anymore. Let me know if you’d like me to pick something up for dinner on the way home.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

No need to pick anything up. Just make sure you change when you get home. I’m taking you out.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

John, I’m sorry. You didn’t need to storm off like that, but I am sorry. Text me back. Calling Molly to see if you’re with her.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

I need some space. I know you’re sorry, but I just need some space right now.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

I’ve ruined it, haven’t I? Knew that would happen. It’s okay, John, I understand. I wouldn’t want to be with me, either.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

You idiot. I needed space, not _ out. _I’ll always want to be with you. Always. Now turn your bloody phone back on so we can argue this out like semi-functioning adults.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Where the bloody hell are you? I’ve been everywhere and nobody has seen you. I swear, Sherlock, if you’ve done something stupid, I’ll kill you myself!

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

I’m about to check the last bolthole I know of and if you’re not here - Hang on, I see you. Don’t move. I’m going to kiss the sulk right off your mouth.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

Thank you for last night. It was. Good. And the thing you said. The thing about you… me… that was… also good. Very good… I… you too. Very much.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Don’t thank me for last night, love, that was just an appetiser. The main meal will arrive tonight, after dinner, if you know what I mean…

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

God, I’m absolute pants at this. Ignore that. See you soon.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

I definitely will not be doing anything of the sort. I hope you plan to make good on your promise, _ Captain _.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Thank you for the flowers, love. I’d ask how you knew they were my favourite, but you’re Sherlock bloody Holmes and I am absolutely, madly in love with you. 

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

You’ve only just gotten on the plane to your stupid conference and I miss you already. If you don’t turn around and come and kiss me, I may have a massive sulk about it. In fact, I feel the beginnings of one coming along as we speak. 

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

I miss you. Terribly. And it’s only been two days - how ridiculous is that? I knew love turned people into blithering, sentimental fools but you, John Watson, have done quite the number on me. I used to think myself a rational, sensible sort. I miss you.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Sorry I missed your call, love. The signal here is shite. Call me when you get this. I miss you, too. Missed you as soon as my plane took off. Love you. Give Rosie a kiss.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Another day of long presentations and ridiculous speed-dating-esque networking games. God, I hate these things. Remind me never to come to one of them again. That, and I miss you both too much. Love you.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

When you get home tomorrow, just remember that sometimes experiments don’t go the exact way we want them to. Everybody’s safe. Just not the kitchen table. But it isn’t my fault, per se. I’ll explain when you get back. I miss you, John.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

By the way, what time does your flight get in tomorrow? Rosie misses you terribly. 

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson. _ At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

As do I. Obviously.

_ You’ve reached the voicemail of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Please leave a _ brief _ message after the tone. BEEP! _

Hi, love. Just landed. Getting my baggage and then I’ll see you soon. Be ready for the air to be kissed right out of you. Love you.

_ You have reached the mailbox of: _ John Watson_. At the tone, record your message. BEEP! _

Sweetheart, we need milk. Let me know if you can get on your way back. I love you. 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr


End file.
